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Notebook Letters 4.

Posted In: Mega-Zine Chat. Reading This Thread:

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 9:48 am

River Phoenix

If Only

If only I was King of The World, I would:

* Get rid of all advert breaks
* Make George W Bush work in my local McDonald's
* Get The Vines to play at my birthday party
* Play up front for Man City
* Force WLW to reveal her/ his identity
* Have a tour of WLW Towers
The Young Upstart

A tour of WLW Towers? There's an idea. Better get the polish out then.

Zine; 3rd of October, 2002; 8/8.

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 9:53 am

River Phoenix

Disillusioned Rant

Aren't the paparazzi pointless? All they live for is to take photographs of celebs and hope that some saddo will pay too much for it.

I mean, who really cares if there's a picture of Slipknot setting fire to a live cat in a keyboard?

Or Liam Gallagher trying to read a stop sign or Michael Jackson's nose coming off when he sneezes.
The Wonky Gnome

Pointless they may be but flamin' rich with it. Grrr.

Zine; 17th of June, 2003; 2/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 10:03 am

River Phoenix

One of two ways

A man walks into a doctor's with a steering wheel down his trousers. The doctor says: "I bet that's annoying!" The man says: "Of course it is, it's really painful! Are you a real doctor?" The doctor then looks deflated that his attempt at humour failed, but helps the man. The man's health quickly turned a corner.
Colonial Foot Soldier

All signs indicated he'd go right eventually.

Zine; 5th of December, 2008; 1/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 10:07 am

River Phoenix

Never forget

It is 10 years since the Kentish Town Rebellion of 1998. It was terrible- 14 farmers killed and 20, 000 Christmas dinners ruined because lots of turkeys plotted together and rose up against all their farmers and fates. They were merciless as they tried to be free. Please remember all the people who ate beef in 1998 when you eat your yummy turkey on Christmas Day. Never forget!
Little Blue Fox

I hear some of them are still in hiding on the Costa del Sol.

Zine; 5th of December, 2008; 2/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 10:24 am

River Phoenix

Easy as ABC and D

To everyone: Kindly refrain from a) attempting to set me up with Elden Ray, who I have nothing but the deepest respect as a long-term and classy Ziner, b) discussing my secret longing for Daddypoos, and c) making lists like this. Oh, hang on: d) brown-nosing WLW.
Mondo (Was That Alright, Boss?)

Your brown nosing has decreasing in both quantity and quality recently, Mondo.

Zine; 5th of December, 2008; 3/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 10:28 am

River Phoenix

Literally

My feet are literally blocks of ice. I could literally eat you/ put in my pocket. My feet are literally stuck to the floor, and so on. Naturally, there are funnier examples. However, I do implore you all to sign the "Literally Petition" against misuse of this word. It is as bad as abusing children and animals. Anyone who commits this crime will be punished by having their hand literally chopped off.
Elden Ray

I'm literally signing up right now.

Zine; 5th of December, 2008; 4/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 10:38 am

River Phoenix

The lobsters are back

I am off to the High Arctic armed with my trusty claw hammer. Why does Santa have his operation on the North Pole? I guess it could be the cheap elf labour, the tax breaks and the fact that one day lasts six months. Oh, and if anyone calls me PP again, they'll get me a spanking.
Princess Psycho

Cue another "PP" letter from Geordydebbles.

Zine; 5th of December, 2008; 5/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 10:48 am

River Phoenix

Perfumed Cardigan He who smelt it dealt it.

Not necessarily. I smell Jaffa Cakes a mile off.

The Girl At Her Own World I have a cold. Boo hoo. It's annoying me so I'm selling it on eBay. Someone's sure to want one.

Why buy one when you can go outside and catch one for free?

Satan's Little Helper Is nobody scared, or even slightly worried by the Florette advert? No? Just me then.

Yes, that will be just you, I'm afraid.

Zine; 23rd of September, 2004; 1/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 11:23 am

River Phoenix

Drugstore Comedy Why do girlies keep avoiding me? I have spiky hair, good teeth and I never burp on the first date. Girlies are weird.

I don't suppose calling them girlies helps.

samurai hedgehog I've just heard the new Scooter single. WLW, pass the Domestos so I can bleach my ears.

It's like DJ Otzi all over again, isn't it?

Cow In The Shed I still have not become rat woman.

Tablets not working? I must admit, you're looking more gerbil.

Zine; 16th of September, 2002; 1/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 11:43 am

River Phoenix

To All Shropshirians

I come from Shropshire! Telford! Now that bit of excitement is over I would just like to say, Jon for Big Brother. How good is he?

He's so boring it's funny.

WLW, I think he should take over from you! Ha ha! Only kidding.
Fanta Flavoured Sheep

How do you know I'm not his twin brother?

Zine; 17th of June, 2002; 3/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 12:06 pm

River Phoenix

Thought For The Day

What have Liam Gallagher and Santa Claus in your local shopping centre got in common?

A complete lack of presence.
Mercy Nuts

They do have a very hairy pair of eyebrows between them, though.

Zine; 23rd of September, 2004; 2/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 12:17 pm

River Phoenix

Mighty Max

Do you remember this, WLW? It was about a boy with a baseball cap that opened portals to faraway places, so Max could stop a host of ghosts and monsters. There was an owl called Virgil and a warrior called Norman. Max became Mighty Max when the old Max fell off a cliff. There was also an evil demon that lived in a volcano called Skull Mountain.

So, WLW, did you ever buy the little pocket playsets or buy the magazine?
Bob, Your Uncle

Someone, help me out here, coz I have no idea.

Zine; 16th of September, 2002; 2/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 12:28 pm

River Phoenix

Nothing To Do

I've finished my last AS Exam which means I now have the summer to fulfil all my dreams like, um, sleeping and, er, watching Kilroy. Life is hard as a student.

Also, my GM weasels have broken as they went nuts and ate all my T-shirts. They're now on sale for the non-negotiable price of £31 per weasel or £32.50 for two. What a bargain. Mr Self-Destruct

I dream of a summer of sleep too, but then I wake up to the nightmare of work.

Zine; 17th of June, 2003; 4/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 12:32 pm

River Phoenix

Annoying Little Sign

OK, picture this. You are driving happily along the motorway with all the lovely trees and fumes, when you see a sign saying Road Works. This is good, you think to yourself, I'm very glad the road works because otherwise I would be pretty stuck.

So you drive along and end up plummeting down a large hole! This isn't good. This isn't clever. Don't think and drive.
Yellow Jello

Yeah, sit down for a minute. I need to explain something.

Zine; 16th of September, 2002; 3/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 47,503 posts

13^th Aug 2009 at 12:41 pm

River Phoenix

Exams

It's exam time now but when you print this, if you print this, it won't be. You see, I'm reminding myself now, as in me typing now, of a better time that will come for me in the future, ie no exams, and I'm reminding my future self of worse times to make me feel better about good times.
Tarantion Squirrel

I used to love exams. Yeah, right.

Zine; 17th of June, 2003; 5/8.

the doc:

Rayanne Graff: His name is George. Also, he started Spam.

Rayanne Graff: i spoke to him a couple of times and that was in October of 2009.

the doc: Wow, a proper old head

Rayanne Graff: Yeah, he was the 15th person to join.

satansrubberduck: I didn't directly start Spam. Also the proof of that long since disappeared.

Rayanne Graff: No, it didn't; the Spam spam spam you made in 2002 is on page 105 of the Spam board.

satansrubberduck: Oh. I looked for it years ago and couldn't find it. The colour tags are (thankfully) broken.

satansrubberduck: Odd to think it's been over a decade since I first got involved with 'Zine.

Claire: It's not odd to me since I've just had the exact same conversation with you...

I Cunt Spell: YOU'RE ALL OLD

I Cunt Spell: SO VERY VERY OLD

Captain Stupendo: SRD made an appearence holy moly haven't seen him on here for years

Maeby: JIM!

the doc: Wow, event Starws isn't here tonight

the doc: Straws ^

the doc:

the doc: *whistles*

the doc: Ah well, off I go as well then

Rayanne Graff: Sorry, Stu; i was busy tidying things. xx

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