23^rd May 2012, 5:34 am

Forum Gallery Archives Members

Beyond Geekiness

Saturday Showcase - February 2009.

Posted In: Mega-Zine Chat. Reading This Thread:

Megazine Letters.

| 3,425 posts

3^rd Mar 2009 at 12:53 pm

You! Me! Milkshakes!

Please vote for your bestest letter in February.
The closing date for all the votes is 16/3/2009.
Please vote!

1. Bird watching comrades.

Keith Flint: Alright, mate? I'm in the Prodigy. What do you do?
Joseph Stalin: I was Russian premier from 1927 - 1953.
KF: Wow! What brings you down to Essex?
JS: Am looking for, how you say, pretty birds.
KF: Watch out 'cos in Essex (unexpected Yakov Smirnoff-style punchline)
JS: Why for did you say your last few words be in closed brackets?

TheSilent Majority.

Smack my rich up!

-----

2.Jaywalkin' USK.

I'm the baddest jaywalker in the USK.
Ain't nothing gonna stop me, I've got right of way,
That Officer Wilcox says to watch my step,
"Hey, Wilcox, you foo', that'd damage my rep,"
I yelled it from the fast lane - then I hurt my spine,
But damn, Swindon A&E nurses are fine.
HIT ME!*

Sniggledywingwong (*not with a car)

*Orderly queue forms*

-----

3. Ooh-eee, Ooh-ah-ah...

I told the witch doctor I was in love with you! I told the witch doctor I was in love with you! And then the witch doctor, he told me what to do!
He said to get my contact lens prescription updated, pop next door to the pharmacy for some antacid suppositories, and to avoid heavy lifting for a few weeks. It worked! I no longer love you. Thank you, private health service!

Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller.

I'll miss this when the 'Zine ends...

-----

4. Downloading.

There's nothing worse than downloading music to find out that your computer burns it onto CD in the wrong order.
Jon Secada, followed by Journey?
Miley "ooh arr" Cyrus before Razorlight?
Morrissey as the last track?
Heaven knows I'm miserable now.

Junior Minister.

Have iPods been taken off the John Lewis list?

-----

5. LoonyPandora I could've been a star! But I didn't have enough mass to sustain a nuclear reaction... Never fear, I'm sure you'll get a meteor role soon.

-----

We'll be back!

So, the merry band of Ziners is being forced to split, but like all good bands, it'll only be a few years until a comeback tour, with thousands of fans chanting "Straw-ber-ry, Straw-ber-ry" and" "Ma-el-strom, Ma-el-strom" as they await the appearance of the icons of our time. WLW can be our manager and there'll be a tour bus and after-show parties and groupies. Or, we could just go quietly. Either way's good.

Insane Jam Sow.

I'll have to do Dancing On Ice first.

*Please vote!

Edited by Megazine Letters. Mar 2009

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/591931.jpg]

Rayanne Graff

| 49,889 posts

3^rd Mar 2009 at 1:47 pm

River Phoenix

i voted for Ian although i thought the other letters were great as well.

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]

the doc

| 21,472 posts

3^rd Mar 2009 at 1:56 pm

What's a little sin to see us through?

I voted for Sniggledywingwong, whoever that is

Whiskey, painkillers and speed will carry me there.....

Steve-Dave

| 10,860 posts

3^rd Mar 2009 at 1:57 pm

don't look at me, I didnt write it

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Colin

| 10,038 posts

3^rd Mar 2009 at 5:42 pm

Don't look at me; I'm Medusa.

http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

JM

| 8,289 posts

4^th Mar 2009 at 2:13 pm

I voted for The Silent Majority. My letter was pants, let's be honest

Rayanne Graff

| 49,889 posts

4^th Mar 2009 at 2:40 pm

River Phoenix

i quite liked it, even though i didn't vote for it.

Griff

| 764 posts

11^th Mar 2009 at 2:59 pm

(indoors)

Oh shi-
I only just realised what JM stood for. I AM a retard. Sniggledywingwong. Mentioned Swindon and I liked the Hit me* not with a car bit.

[http://img91.imageshack.us/img91/3580/99b13b914a1d02c13011793.gif]

Rayanne Graff

| 49,889 posts

12^th Mar 2009 at 10:45 pm

River Phoenix

Yeah, he stands for truth, justice and the Ziney way.

Megazine Letters.

| 3,425 posts

14^th Mar 2009 at 12:08 pm

You! Me! Milkshakes!

'Ite, blud! Brrp!
Da sickest letters in February were "Jaywalking USK" by Sniggledywingwong 'n' "Bird Watching Comrades" by Da Silent Majority.
Dey haz got 4 votes straight outta 14.
It is well weapon! Fresh! F*ckiiiin!

Jaywalkin' USK.

I'm the baddest jaywalker in the USK.
Ain't nothing gonna stop me, I've got right of way,
That Officer Wilcox says to watch my step,
"Hey, Wilcox, you foo', that'd damage my rep,"
I yelled it from the fast lane - then I hurt my spine,
But damn, Swindon A&E nurses are fine.
HIT ME!*

Sniggledywingwong (*not with a car).

*Orderly queue forms*.

Bird watching comrades.

Keith Flint: Alright, mate? I'm in the Prodigy. What do you do?
Joseph Stalin: I was Russian premier from 1927 - 1953.
KF: Wow! What brings you down to Essex?
JS: Am looking for, how you say, pretty birds.
KF: Watch out 'cos in Essex (unexpected Yakov Smirnoff-style punchline)
JS: Why for did you say your last few words be in closed brackets?

TheSilent Majority.

Smack my rich up!

*Taters!

Jimmy: Holy sh*t everything's Barry.

Steve-Dave: Everything's better!

Puffalump: Barrier

Steve-Dave: The Barryest it's ever been

Jimmy: I can't wait for more "Important Barry and changes"

Steve-Dave: Well there will be some Barry and changes coming soon, because we need more donations. It no longer just takes £10 a year to help Barry survive

Steve-Dave: It takes like... £13

Steve-Dave: Barry has to walk 5 metres to his car every day... just to go to work and earn money for DVDs and comic books

Steve-Dave: His eyesight is so bad... that he has to wear glasses. Stylish rimless glasses which cost €250

Steve-Dave: His living space is so cramped... that h had to put his workout bench in the garage meaning he doesn't really use it any more

Steve-Dave: But for just €13 a year... You can help Barry afford a DVD that he heard was good but has been out for a while so it's not as expensive as new DVDs

Steve-Dave: Please... Give generously... And help save this poor man's DVD shelf from not being completely full because it just looks weird when it's nearly full. I mean, when it's half full, that's fine. But when there's only a few gaps left... it just looks kinda sad.... y'know

Steve-Dave: Thank you

Rayanne Graff: It scares me when people refer to themselves in the third person.

Steve-Dave: It scares Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV esq. too

Steve-Dave: Like my Grandfather, Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XII Esq. always said: "Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV esq., Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XII esq. gets scared when people refer to themselves in the third person, and Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV esq., Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XII esq. promises to never do that"

Steve-Dave: And like my twin brother, Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV.5 esq. (or Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV esq. for short) says: "Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV esq., Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV.5 esq. doesn't like when people refer to themselves in the third person. You and Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV.5 esq. must have gotten that from our grandfather, Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XII esq."

Rayanne Graff: You nerds crack me up.

Steve-Dave: Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XII esq., Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV.5 esq. and Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV esq. all try our best

Rayanne Graff: ... in the pants department.

One Page