Mega-Zine: Unseen Footage and Alternative Takes
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Dies ist, warum sie mich "eine Scheiße“ rufen.
This was a leaving letter I sent early in March, which didn't make the cut:
...
My Kind Of Dumplings
Hello, and welcome to Psychic Potato's My Kind Of Dumplings! Now, the perfect dumpling should have a firm crust on top, with a fluffy base. Makes a great meal for a going away party, such as the 'Zine leaving do. Thanks WLW, and other writers, for your witty muses that have entertained me over the years. Have a wonderful lemon curd!
Psychic Potato
...
I chose "lemon curd" as my last words, partly because of some obscure, long-winded rhyming slang I'd made up, and partly because I was eating it at the time.
Anyways, I tried sending a different one (SMS this time), but that also failed to get printed, probably as it wasn't really a "goodbye" sort of thing. Haven't got phone right now, but from memory it went along the lines of:
...
A few months ago, I stood in for a friend of mine at an ad agency. For a bit of a laugh, I decided to see how many adverts I could shoehorn the song "Here Come The Girls" into.
Unfortunately, it worked to well, now it's gotten way out of hand! Oh WLW, what sort of monster hath been unleashed? I'm offski!
Psychic Potato
...
Well, they were a bit crap anyway.
...
My Kind Of Dumplings
Hello, and welcome to Psychic Potato's My Kind Of Dumplings! Now, the perfect dumpling should have a firm crust on top, with a fluffy base. Makes a great meal for a going away party, such as the 'Zine leaving do. Thanks WLW, and other writers, for your witty muses that have entertained me over the years. Have a wonderful lemon curd!
Psychic Potato
...
I chose "lemon curd" as my last words, partly because of some obscure, long-winded rhyming slang I'd made up, and partly because I was eating it at the time.
Anyways, I tried sending a different one (SMS this time), but that also failed to get printed, probably as it wasn't really a "goodbye" sort of thing. Haven't got phone right now, but from memory it went along the lines of:
...
A few months ago, I stood in for a friend of mine at an ad agency. For a bit of a laugh, I decided to see how many adverts I could shoehorn the song "Here Come The Girls" into.
Unfortunately, it worked to well, now it's gotten way out of hand! Oh WLW, what sort of monster hath been unleashed? I'm offski!
Psychic Potato
...
Well, they were a bit crap anyway.
Hope is important.
Quote: thelostdude
Kris' letters are really cool too, I think.
Just missed the cut for the last 'Zine, I think:
Hey, guys! I'm new here!
Tuxfeet-Cut Yokel
Kris' letters are really cool too, I think.
Hope is important.
It is all my unseen and unfinished things. I hope they are ok! :-[
"Disney Diseases".
- Kuzco Complex – Really worried you are a llama.
- Merlin Sniffles – Turn into a different animal everytime you sneeze.
- King Louie Complex - Psychological gluttony - you have reached the top, and you have stop, and that's what's bothering you.
---
"These are the ghosts that broke my heart". (I really wanted to make a ghost story, but I could not think of a neat ending at-all. It is really silly and frustrating!).
I tried to exorcise my bedroom – it is really haunted. All the ghosts are really noisy and bumpy, and also they move all my books when I am not looking. But I felt really guilty and horrid – all the ghosts were really lost and lonely...
---
"If 'Ziners were Cats".
- Vigilante Maelstrom - Cheshire Cat (he disappears, leaving nothing but smiles...and faint smells of Moggilicious cat food).
- Princess Psycho - Evil the Cat.
- WLW - Ren ("Cedric, you idiot!").
---
"If 'Ziners were Pokemon".
- Jumbo Beam - Snorlax (he makes everyone really sleepy).
- Daddypoos, Wigan - Ditto, Pallet Town (Peter Chu).
- The Brigadier - Mew.
By Professor Oak's Research Students.
---
"Really Painful Foods".
- Potato Wedgies.
- Fruit Punch.
---
"Dooplegangland". (I really wanted to make a letter about someone stelaing my identity - Barry and Colin and I tried to make a second letter about somene pretending to be me, but it was lots too difficult). :-[
Please help me! I am really worried someone is trying to steal my identity. I am really worried he will replace me. It is really scary!
I am really worried he will hug all my friends and eat all my muffins and forget to feed my cat.
I am not sure howcome anyone wants to be me. It is pretty boring. It is mostly scatty panic attacks and romantic hopes, and also poems and ghost hunting too. It is really silly!
Little Blue Fox. x.
"Disney Diseases".
- Kuzco Complex – Really worried you are a llama.
- Merlin Sniffles – Turn into a different animal everytime you sneeze.
- King Louie Complex - Psychological gluttony - you have reached the top, and you have stop, and that's what's bothering you.
---
"These are the ghosts that broke my heart". (I really wanted to make a ghost story, but I could not think of a neat ending at-all. It is really silly and frustrating!).
I tried to exorcise my bedroom – it is really haunted. All the ghosts are really noisy and bumpy, and also they move all my books when I am not looking. But I felt really guilty and horrid – all the ghosts were really lost and lonely...
---
"If 'Ziners were Cats".
- Vigilante Maelstrom - Cheshire Cat (he disappears, leaving nothing but smiles...and faint smells of Moggilicious cat food).
- Princess Psycho - Evil the Cat.
- WLW - Ren ("Cedric, you idiot!").
---
"If 'Ziners were Pokemon".
- Jumbo Beam - Snorlax (he makes everyone really sleepy).
- Daddypoos, Wigan - Ditto, Pallet Town (Peter Chu).
- The Brigadier - Mew.
By Professor Oak's Research Students.
---
"Really Painful Foods".
- Potato Wedgies.
- Fruit Punch.
---
"Dooplegangland". (I really wanted to make a letter about someone stelaing my identity - Barry and Colin and I tried to make a second letter about somene pretending to be me, but it was lots too difficult). :-[
Please help me! I am really worried someone is trying to steal my identity. I am really worried he will replace me. It is really scary!
I am really worried he will hug all my friends and eat all my muffins and forget to feed my cat.
I am not sure howcome anyone wants to be me. It is pretty boring. It is mostly scatty panic attacks and romantic hopes, and also poems and ghost hunting too. It is really silly!
Little Blue Fox.
x.
Hope is important.
I made a Sprinkles the Cat letter for Alternazine, but I am not sure it is good at-all.
I really want to make a Sprinkles letter about Schrodinger's Cat, but it is really difficult.
Sprinkles the Cat.
What's that, Sprinkles?
*meow*.
You were practicing hypnotism inthe mirror?
*meow meow*.
You hypnotised yourself? You think you are a yummy fish now?
*meow!*.
You are really worried you will hurt yourself?
*meow*.
Oh, gosh, ok. We should go to the vet. Silly cat!
Little Blue Fox.
I really want to make a Sprinkles letter about Schrodinger's Cat, but it is really difficult.
Sprinkles the Cat.
What's that, Sprinkles?
*meow*.
You were practicing hypnotism inthe mirror?
*meow meow*.
You hypnotised yourself? You think you are a yummy fish now?
*meow!*.
You are really worried you will hurt yourself?
*meow*.
Oh, gosh, ok. We should go to the vet. Silly cat!
Little Blue Fox.
Jimmy:
Holy sh*t everything's Barry.
Steve-Dave:
Everything's better!
Puffalump:
Barrier
Steve-Dave:
The Barryest it's ever been
Jimmy:
I can't wait for more "Important Barry and changes"
Steve-Dave:
Well there will be some Barry and changes coming soon, because we need more donations. It no longer just takes £10 a year to help Barry survive
Steve-Dave:
It takes like... £13
Steve-Dave:
Barry has to walk 5 metres to his car every day... just to go to work and earn money for DVDs and comic books
Steve-Dave:
His eyesight is so bad... that he has to wear glasses. Stylish rimless glasses which cost €250
Steve-Dave:
His living space is so cramped... that h had to put his workout bench in the garage meaning he doesn't really use it any more
Steve-Dave:
But for just €13 a year... You can help Barry afford a DVD that he heard was good but has been out for a while so it's not as expensive as new DVDs
Steve-Dave:
Please... Give generously... And help save this poor man's DVD shelf from not being completely full because it just looks weird when it's nearly full. I mean, when it's half full, that's fine. But when there's only a few gaps left... it just looks kinda sad.... y'know
Steve-Dave:
Thank you
Rayanne Graff:
It scares me when people refer to themselves in the third person.
Steve-Dave:
It scares Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV esq. too
Steve-Dave:
Like my Grandfather, Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XII Esq. always said: "Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV esq., Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XII esq. gets scared when people refer to themselves in the third person, and Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV esq., Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XII esq. promises to never do that"
Steve-Dave:
And like my twin brother, Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV.5 esq. (or Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV esq. for short) says: "Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV esq., Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV.5 esq. doesn't like when people refer to themselves in the third person. You and Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV.5 esq. must have gotten that from our grandfather, Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XII esq."
Rayanne Graff:
You nerds crack me up.
Steve-Dave:
Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XII esq., Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV.5 esq. and Professor Barrington Cornelius Smashathing XIV esq. all try our best
Rayanne Graff:
... in the pants department.
