Barry's Jokes

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Barrington Smash

| 9,077 posts


19th Mar 2010 at 9:41 am

Barrington Smash -

 
When I was a child, my parents got a divorce and my brother and I got seperated. This left a huge hole in my heart. We were conjoined twins

I got a massage the other day. Afterwards, the masseuse asked me if I wanted a happy ending, so I said yes. She killed a dragon and restored peace to my village.

I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting last night. The first guy stood up and said "I'm Steve, and I'm an alcoholic". I thought to myself "Do flying fish have fins or wings? Or fings? Is that where fish fingers come from?". I was still drunk.

I bought a Muhammad Ali Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine last week. It's better than the George Foreman one, but it shakes a lot more

[http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/w1lfKtO/weight.png]

Barrington Smash

| 9,077 posts


19th Mar 2010 at 9:47 am

Barrington Smash -

 
I watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon last night. Those Dragons are well hidden

[http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/w1lfKtO/weight.png]

Barrington Smash

| 9,077 posts


19th Mar 2010 at 10:13 am

Barrington Smash -

 
I met the Jigsaw Killer from Saw outside a playground last night. He said "Did you see Saw?". I said "No, I was just on the swings for a while"

[http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/w1lfKtO/weight.png]

Jewbacca

| 6,661 posts


19th Mar 2010 at 10:52 am

Jewbacca - Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

 
THESE JOKES ARE BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.
AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Barrington Smash

| 9,077 posts


19th Mar 2010 at 10:55 am

Barrington Smash -

 
They're MY jokes. What more do you expect?

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Jewbacca

| 6,661 posts


19th Mar 2010 at 11:01 am

Jewbacca - Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

 
I've got a joke for you while you're here. What did Jim say when someone stepped on his toe?
AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Barrington Smash

| 9,077 posts


19th Mar 2010 at 11:04 am

Barrington Smash -

 
Quote: Sue Sylvester, Mar 2010
I've got a joke for you while you're here. What did Jim say when someone stepped on his toe?


Ow! You stupid f*cking c*ntnugget!

[http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/w1lfKtO/weight.png]

Jewbacca

| 6,661 posts


19th Mar 2010 at 11:21 am

Jewbacca - Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

 
Quote: Paddy Irishman, Mar 2010
Quote: Sue Sylvester, Mar 2010
I've got a joke for you while you're here. What did Jim say when someone stepped on his toe?


Ow! You stupid f*cking c*ntnugget!

Close, but no cigar
AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Albi The Racist Dragon

| 7,358 posts


19th Mar 2010 at 10:11 pm

Albi The Racist Dragon -

 
Quote: Paddy Irishman, Mar 2010

I got a massage the other day. Afterwards, the masseuse asked me if I wanted a happy ending, so I said yes. She killed a dragon and restored peace to my village.


Actually lol'd.
[http://card.mygamercard.net/gbar/joelsaysyeah.gif]

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/698876.jpg]

wombat

| 7,838 posts


20th Mar 2010 at 12:44 pm

wombat - Technically sexy.

Technically sexy.

 
I disagree with Martin.
Southern hemispherical rat boy

Barrington Smash

| 9,077 posts


20th Mar 2010 at 4:02 pm

Barrington Smash -

 
Quote: wombat, Mar 2010
I disagree with Martin.


He's just jealous. Like a guy with no Brylcreem

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Barrington Smash

| 9,077 posts


21st Mar 2010 at 6:08 pm

Barrington Smash -

 
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's just hard to tell because apiarists wear those big facemasks

[http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/w1lfKtO/weight.png]

Abacus

| 6,673 posts


21st Mar 2010 at 6:13 pm

Abacus - Erm...

Erm...

 
The only joke I've ever written was by mistake and hugely racist so I can't even tell anyone it.
I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter

Barrington Smash

| 9,077 posts


21st Mar 2010 at 6:18 pm

Barrington Smash -

 
Quote: Abacus, Mar 2010
The only joke I've ever written was by mistake and hugely racist so I can't even tell anyone it.


Just replace any racist terms with the word 'banana'. Like I did with this one:

I saw a monkey throwing a banana at another monkey. It reminded me of a banana throwing a banana at another banana

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Abacus

| 6,673 posts


21st Mar 2010 at 6:21 pm

Abacus - Erm...

Erm...

 
If you accidentally make up a racist joke does that make you racist? I'm pretty sure I'm not racist but maybe I am. I'm exactly the sort of person who'd be racist and not even realise it...


...It's ok, VR, don't fear, I just had full sex with a black man, so I can't be gay.
I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter


 
 
Resident Death: bitchy. Ha. You were expecting The Who
Claire: I love being the most colourful person in the members list.
Claire: It helps me to remember who I am.
learrggh: should be pink.
Resident Death: You could make me rainbow coloured....
Claire: None of you were online at the time I posted that and blue is closer to purple than any of you
Claire: Well, except if alice was rainbow coloured.
learrggh: I broke VR.
Darren: You did.. and I wanted to read that..
Albi The Racist Dragon: depends who the murderer is
Albi The Racist Dragon: are we talking, like, ted bundy
Albi The Racist Dragon: thats ok then
Albi The Racist Dragon: as long as the file system wasnt responsible
Darren: So people DO use that FS then... Was this a coise of yours or the hosts? Its actually pretty damned good all things considered

 

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