22^nd May 2012, 10:10 am

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Let's trim our hair in accordance with the socialist lifestyle

laughter

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Hare

| 14,186 posts

19^th Mar 2005 at 9:36 pm

*burp*

Snowflake

| 11,898 posts

20^th Mar 2005 at 12:41 pm

Lady Lobschter

I love these

Not a joke, but just as funny if you hear it:

"Dans la nuit, Doctuer Qui.

Il voyage dans le tardis. La porte du telephone. Fantastique - de space. L'interieur est beaucop de grande. L'exterier est ca. C'est le mysterie de Dr Qui.

L'enemie, il s'appelle davros. Le Capitan de darlek. Il est demi darlek et demi homme. Incredible! Il n'ais pa tres realistique. Avec le darlek le docteur est superier- exterminate vous! exterminate vous encore!"

Hmm. Forgive the french misspellings. My mate tried to transcribe the Bill Bailey take on Dr Who. I'll send a copy to anyone who wishes to own it.

self-confessed spamaholic

about as useful as trying to put the pin back in the grenade

Me and Matt - King and Queen lobster spam team!!

Tobias Fünke

| 4,724 posts

20^th Mar 2005 at 5:07 pm

I blue myself.

Alternatively, my friend Simon took a brillo pad from under his sink yesterday and laid it on the table. He then took out` a hammer and preceded to whack the brillo pad repeatedly.

With a quizical look, he asked us 'Is this the way to hammer brillo?'

How we laughed etc.

Analrapist.

Graham

| 5,551 posts

21^st Mar 2005 at 5:48 pm

Your mother is a ball point pen thief.

A married couple was on vacation in Jamaica. They were touring around the
marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small
sandal shop. From inside they heard the shop
keeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You! Vacationers! Come in! Come into
my humble shop!"

So they walked in.

The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would
be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex."

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the
man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the
sexgod he was.

The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make me any better than I
am?

"The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Mon."

Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in,
and tried them on.

As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his
eyes. Something his wife hadn't seen in many years!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him
violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants,
and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.

The Jamaican then began screaming,
"DE WRONG FEET! DE WRONG FEET! YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!"

Quote: Barry Duffman, Aug 2008

it still doesnt make sense! He's talking about putting potatoes in cement to cook them!!

Maeby

| 22,371 posts

24^th Mar 2005 at 1:50 pm

Marry me?

OK, a French joke for ye, which I was taught. Please excuse the spellings:

Deux saussice, dans une pan. Un saussice dit de l'otre saussice, "Phew, il fait chaud ici!"
D'lotre saussice reponds, "AAAARGH! Une saussice qui parle!"

It doesn't quite have the same ring in English, but for those who need a translation:
Two sausages in a pan. One sausage says to the other sausage: "Phew, it's hot in here."
The other sausage respnds, "AAAAAARGH! A sausage who talks!"

Ping!

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

UNHOLY DARK KNIGHT 2

| 106 posts

20^th Apr 2005 at 1:35 pm

Death awaits all who apose me!

Quote: Not_a_work_of_art_

How do you starve a Mexican?
Hide his foodstamps under the soap. �

thank you oh so much! this joke has to be the greatest ever! endless hours of laughter enjoyed!

destroy townies

Steve-Dave

| 10,847 posts

21^st Apr 2005 at 12:59 pm

Quote: Suzy_Turquoise_Blue_

OK, a French joke for ye, which I was taught. Please excuse the spellings:

Deux saussice, dans une pan. Un saussice dit de l'otre saussice, "Phew, il fait chaud ici!"
D'lotre saussice reponds, "AAAARGH! Une saussice qui parle!"

It doesn't quite have the same ring in English, but for those who need a translation:
Two sausages in a pan. One sausage says to the other sausage: "Phew, it's hot in here."
The other sausage respnds, "AAAAAARGH! A sausage who talks!"

That was brilliant

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

UNHOLY DARK KNIGHT 2

| 106 posts

27^th May 2005 at 1:35 pm

Death awaits all who apose me!

What is the motto of the boy scouts?.........Bring lube
Thanks Disco stu and of course rose

destroy townies

Milton_Dreams

| 192 posts

28^th May 2005 at 2:23 pm

I Love The Vegetable Revolution!

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

Up his sleevies

Worst Joke ever

http://members.aol.com/intwg/trolls.htm

I am all the dreams of Milton Keynes that have died.

Steve-Dave: Better the devil you know, though. How many of the sensible people would ever vote for Romney?

Walt Flanagan: They're going to be non-votes, not votes for Barack.

Steve-Dave: I doubt it. I'd say that with some of the stuff Romney will come out, people could vote Barack just to prevent Romney getting in.

Walt Flanagan: Well, he's so clearly a terrible human being.

Walt Flanagan: He's going to gaff his way out of the White House, even as the President is hated from all the sides of the spectrum that aren't starry eyed.

Walt Flanagan: The GOP has gone too far towards the Stupid Bigot side of things, it may take years to get back.

Walt Flanagan: I just think people who say that Obama would have to f*ck a white woman on television to not get elected are missing the danger.

Steve-Dave: Oh I think Romney will still give Obama a run for his money. Romney flip-flops a lot. Could appeal to a wide enough base overall to run it close

oatibix: Something's happened here.

Steve-Dave: This is what happens when you leave Colin.

Steve-Dave: And I don't mean "This is what happens when you leave, Colin", I mean this is what happens when you leave Colin. I left Colin and became all sensible and sh*t

Steve-Dave: I'm an equivocating motherf*cker

Rayanne Graff: Yeah, you're sh*t. i'm not sure about sensible, though.

Jimmy: Holy sh*t everything's Barry.

Steve-Dave: Everything's better!

Puffalump: Barrier

Steve-Dave: The Barryest it's ever been

Jimmy: I can't wait for more "Important Barry and changes"

Steve-Dave: Well there will be some Barry and changes coming soon, because we need more donations. It no longer just takes £10 a year to help Barry survive

Steve-Dave: It takes like... £13

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