Singledom

Hi VR, it's been quite a while since I started a thread and I realise I've been extremely inactive on this site over the past, well, couple of years, I guess and that's in no way related to anybody here, although you are all massive sh*ts, obviously That said, I feel like a bit of a rant/update is in order and although you may not care if you've read this far you'll probably finish now, let's be honest

Some may know I was in a very serious long-term relationship I entered into when I was 18 (my first proper g/f). That ended about 2 months ago and it was about as good a conclusion to a 7 and a half year relationship as one could hope for; basically, as cliched as it sounds, we wanted different things - her living together, marriage and kids (probably in that order) and me, well, not. Not sure exactly why, but that's my problem. She was an amazing girlfriend and the first part of the rant is that why did I not feel like I wanted the next logical step with someone I cared so much for? It bothers me. Secondly, why do I not regret the decision massively, like I half-hoped I would? What the feck is wrong with me? I'm nothing special and had a fit as f*ck girlfriend who adored me, understood me and I'm now alone because I decided I didn't want all the normal stuff people do want with people they care about as much as I did. It also feels worse than anything I could imagine to have destroyed someone who I cared about so much, even if I feel I did it for all the right reasons.

Anyway, those demons will probably come to a head at some point and I'll probably just explode or something but the other part of my rant is about being single, something I've not experienced since before I was technically an adult! I shouldn't moan about it because I've chosen the road myself and now I must walk it, or rather, awkwardly amble up it, probably embarrassing myself at every junction. There's another girl...I must stress she only came into light post-relationship but there is, undeniably another girl. She's another quite ridiculously hot one too, who I have great chemistry with and erm, stuff. It's coming to a head but I don't know if I want it as I feel horrible moving on knowing my ex is still hurting so bad. I realise that I am coming across as a tw*t here "yeah, I had a great girlfriend who I dumped and I'm moaning about it and now I have another attractive girl on the cards and I'm moaning about that too", but my life as always been so simple and stress free and I always ignored things and now my life feels like a somewhat subdued episode of Skins. Bloody hell.

Anyway, I'm out, not sure what, if anything I want in in response to this but hey, good to be back properly and hope I can catch up with some of you lot online a bit more and maybe even meet up at a meet or something, be nice to meet some of you ugly lot in person, so keep me posted about meets!

Hello young man.
I have much sympathy as I recently finished my relationship of 5 years (since I was 16). I also didn't feel like I wanted to move in with him and this was the biggest contributing factor to the split. It was also incredibly amicable and I also don't regret it or feel very guilty. Freakishly similar circumstances actually.

In a less freakishly similar way I don't have any potential love on the horizon, and I'm probably not the best person to give advice right now.
What I do know is that just because you finished it doesn't mean you aren't entitled to any of the feelings you have and everyone gets a rebound.
If you continue to worry about your ex's feelings you'll never get over (or properly out of) your relationship. The best thing to do is have a clean break and totally selfishly do whatever the f*ck you think is best for you.

Hope this helps.

i don't have any advice either.

But welcome back anyroad, mofo. Even though you never went anywhere.

Thanks for the advice and nice words

I was supposed to be going out with new girl after work but it sort of fell through due to a series of unfortunate incidents. I'm disappointed about that.

Lastly, it may go without saying, but no mention of me opening up and my situation on Facebook (those who "have" me) if you please, there are eyes everywhere. Not literally.

I'm now going to use this thread to give you irregular updates on my single life, which may prove comical due to my innate inability to be charming, cool or any of the other qualities that seem necessary to impress or woo the opposite sex.
As I said in my last post, the "date" with new girl had to be sort of cancelled but went out on our lunch break together on Friday for a pub lunch and topped ourselves up on last break with a quick drink too. Getting along massively well. I'm more comfortable with her than most girls as the basis of our bond seems to be our ability to rip the sh*t out of each other without taking offence (largely because we know we don't mean it).
Going out with her after work one day this week which i'm looking forward to, I just worry about starting something new at this stage, I mean, from her perspective it must be pretty intimidating too; if I was getting along really well with someone who had just got out of a 7.5 year relationship with their only real girlfriend i'd be a bit daunted myself. I've already accidentally called her Sarah once but luckily she was too drunk to remember. Really can't do that again.

I've obviously thought about it loads, yeah and no I'm not sure, I'm not sure at all but I'm not even sure it'll happen like that anyway, may just be a bit of fun, may be nothing at all. Only one way to find out though and to be fair she's a really, really nice girl who knows the situation.

I've always been the sort of person who over-analyses most of life's decisions and now I've made such a big one I feel as if I've earned the right to just go with the flow a little bit and just see what happens and what life throws at me. As long as I'm honest along the way I think I'll be alright.

Think I've sh*tted it up with new girl due to my inability to not drink and text.

However, a 19 year-old girl at work has asked me to the cinema Saturday and I sort of accidentally said yes. She's very nice and very attractive but she's 19...Seems wrong in a weird sort of way but it's only a trip to the cinema, I'll cross any certain bridges when and if I come to them...

Good advice, Cagster

The "date" was actually rather nice with the 19 year-old although I'm not sure it was a date. How do you define a date? Does someone actually have to mention the word date? We know each other a bit at work, have a chat etc and she asked me to go see the new Twilight film with her. We then got some food and went for a drink...She's single, knows I'm single and kept going on about how cold it was in the cinema (which it wasn't) until I put my arm around her (apparently my coat was insufficent in the fight against the cinema coldness). I didn't do anything else and she also kept holding my arm around town. I know women are complex but am I safe in assuming she may like me there or do I need a written admission first?