Barry's Script

Posted In: Poetry + Prose. Reading This Thread:

Penn

| 10,658 posts


2nd Dec 2009 at 10:47 pm

Penn -

 
FADE IN:

INT. FAMILY HOME - DAY
A family is gathered in a living room. They are a large middle class family and are sitting around talking amongst themselves. It is clear that they all know what is going on, but they act ignorant. LOUISE and BRIAN (both late 20’s) enter, the look of joy evident on their faces.

LOUISE
Hi, sorry we’re late.

MARY
Yeah yeah yeah. Just tell us what’s going on!

LOUISE
(with elation)
We got engaged!

(Louise shows off the ring. Everyone gathers round to offer their congratulations. Louise’s mother and sisters all begin to get teary-eyed)

MARY
Oh my God! Congratulations! Have you set a date yet?

BRIAN
Yeah. We were thinking of Valentine’s Day

LOUISE
So about 7 months.

Most of the family gather round the couple to give their well-wishes. ANDY (Louise’s brother) and GERRY (Louise’s uncle) are sitting at the back of the room.

ANDY
(talking softly)
Valentine’s Day? Who the hell gets married on Valentine’s Day?

GERRY
What’s wrong with Valentine’s Day? It’s the day of love!

ANDY
Exactly! So most of the guests would want to celebrate it themselves or have other stuff planned. Everybody has their own traditions. Being forced to attend a wedding on a day like that.... I’ve never understood that.

GERRY
Well I guess we won’t have to worry about that with your wedding then.

ANDY
(looks confused)
What wedding?

GERRY
You know! Both of your sisters are engaged now. That only leaves you. Do you even have a girlfriend yet?

(Andy looks around the room and sees that everyone in the room is either engaged or married. He realises that he is alone)
There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Penn

| 10,658 posts


2nd Dec 2009 at 10:48 pm

Penn -

 
INT: TOMMY’S HOUSE/LIVING ROOM - DAY

TOMMY, a young, athletic man is sitting in his living room watching TV as ANDY enters

TOMMY (shouting at TV)
GO ON LAD! HIT HIM!

ANDY
Hey man. What are you watching?

TOMMY
(without taking his eyes off the telly)
Wrestling.

ANDY
Wrestling? What are you watching that for? You do know it’s fake don’t you?

TOMMY
Of course it’s fake Andy! Everything on telly is fake! That’s not the point!

ANDY
Okay then, what’s the point?

TOMMY
They have a midget wrestling with huge people. It’s brilliant!

ANDY
(sarcastically)
I’ll bet...

TOMMY
So what’s up?

ANDY
I need your help. My sister is marrying Brian. I don’t know what to do!

TOMMY
HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR!

(Andy looks puzzled until he realises Tommy is still watching the wrestling. He grabs the remote and turns it off)

ANDY
HEY! I’m serious man!

TOMMY
Alright alright! Calm down! What’s the problem?

ANDY
I need a date for the wedding

TOMMY
Well I’ll have to check my diary...

ANDY
Don’t bother. You’re not my type

TOMMY
Do you even have a type?

ANDY
This is my problem. Who am I going to invite to the wedding?

TOMMY
What do you mean?

ANDY
I haven’t had a girlfriend since Lisa, and that ended over 2 years ago. Have you seen me with any girls since?

(Tommy walks over to the fridge and takes out a bottle of beer. He opens it, takes a large drink, and pauses for a few seconds)

ANDY
Well?

TOMMY
I’m thinking, I’m thinking. 2 years is a long time

ANDY
You’re telling me...

TOMMY
When’s the wedding?

ANDY
Valentine’s Day

TOMMY
Valentine’s Day? Who the hell gets married on Valentine’s Day?

(ANDY shrugs)

TOMMY
But sure that’s what? 6... 7 months away? Plenty of time to get a woman.

ANDY
I don’t just want to get a woman. Look... my uncle said something that really scared me today. He said that I’m next.

TOMMY
That is scary. Seriously... that’s like a serial killer’s catchphrase

ANDY
No... He pointed out that everyone is like... moving on with their lives. Both of my sisters are engaged. You’re after moving in with your girlfriend.

TOMMY
How does he know that?

ANDY
No.... he didn’t say that, he just made me think about it. I still live at home, I’m going nowhere in my job, and to top it all off, I’m single!

TOMMY
So do something about it then. Look, this Saturday... we’ll head into the city... we’ll have a good time... and it’ll just relax you. Don’t worry; we’ll help you find a woman.

ANDY
(calmer)
Alright... thanks man. I’ll call George too, see if he wants to come out.
There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Penn

| 10,658 posts


2nd Dec 2009 at 10:48 pm

Penn -

 

INT: ART GALLERY - DAY

GEORGE, a young budding artist, is walking around the gallery looking at sculptures and paintings. He comes across one exhibit which is just a small hook screwed into the wall. A middle-aged woman comes over as he stares at it

WOMAN
Hello. Can I help you with anything?

GEORGE
Sorry... I was just stunned by this piece. It is incredible. As artists, we use hooks to hang paintings on. We use plinths to place our sculptures on. Yet, do we ever really notice them? This hook... in such a large area with nothing hanging off it... its genius!

WOMAN
Actually, we just took the painting down for restoration.

(George’s phone begins to ring. He looks relieved)

GEORGE
Sorry, I really need to take this

(The woman nods, smiles and walks away. George answers the phone)

INTERCUT - TELEPHONE CONVERSATION

GEORGE
Hello?

(ANDY is sitting in his car)

ANDY
WHASSSSSUUUPPPP!

GEORGE
Wow, my phone is so out of date I’m getting jokes from 10 years ago

(Andy laughs)

ANDY
What’s the craic man?

GEORGE
Not much. Just made an idiot out of myself in front of some woman

ANDY
(smirks)
So the usual then?

GEORGE
Yeah, but this time, I got a great idea for an art piece.

ANDY
Every cloud...

GEORGE
What’s up?

ANDY
Just talking to Tommy a while ago, thinking of heading up to you this weekend, go out for a few drinks. What do you reckon?

GEORGE
Yeah, should be alright. Are we celebrating anything in particular?

ANDY
No. Just need some help getting a girlfriend.

GEORGE
(grins)
So I should probably clear the next few weekends then?

ANDY
I hate you George. I really really do.

(George laughs)
There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Delirium Tremens

| 1,875 posts


13th Jan 2010 at 11:16 am

Delirium Tremens -

 
Sorry, I've just noticed this. It's really, properly decently good!

Is there any more?

Penn

| 10,658 posts


13th Jan 2010 at 11:21 am

Penn -

 
Quote: Plaistow Patricia, Jan 2010
Sorry, I've just noticed this. It's really, properly decently good!

Is there any more?


Nope. First taste is free, rest will cost you

Nah, I just don't get enough time to do anything on it, so my interest in it has seriously fizzled out. Plus, I'm just not a writer. I think the dialogue is okay, but describing scenes and actions and stuff just does my head in.

As with VnoiR, I start something, get really excited about it, then just forget about it
There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Delirium Tremens

| 1,875 posts


13th Jan 2010 at 11:33 am

Delirium Tremens -

 
That's a shame. Did you enjoy doing it?

Penn

| 10,658 posts


13th Jan 2010 at 11:38 am

Penn -

 
Quote: Plaistow Patricia, Jan 2010
That's a shame. Did you enjoy doing it?


I enjoyed thinking about it more than doing it. Planning stuff out, coming up with jokes and scenes. To be honest it almost felt like coming up with letters for 'Zine. But things always sound funnier in my head and it's hard to get them to feel right when writing it out, which was annoying.

I might do more to it sometime, but don't hold your breath. Unless you're surrounded by poisonous fumes, in which case you should hold your breath and try to break open a window or something. It is unlikely that any of you are in this very particular situation though
There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people


 
 
the doc:
Rayanne Graff: His name is George. Also, he started Spam.
Rayanne Graff: i spoke to him a couple of times and that was in October of 2009.
the doc: Wow, a proper old head
Rayanne Graff: Yeah, he was the 15th person to join.
satansrubberduck: I didn't directly start Spam. Also the proof of that long since disappeared.
Rayanne Graff: No, it didn't; the Spam spam spam you made in 2002 is on page 105 of the Spam board.
satansrubberduck: Oh. I looked for it years ago and couldn't find it. The colour tags are (thankfully) broken.
satansrubberduck: Odd to think it's been over a decade since I first got involved with 'Zine.
Claire: It's not odd to me since I've just had the exact same conversation with you...
I Cunt Spell: YOU'RE ALL OLD
I Cunt Spell: SO VERY VERY OLD
Captain Stupendo: SRD made an appearence holy moly haven't seen him on here for years
Maeby: JIM!
the doc: Wow, event Starws isn't here tonight
the doc: Straws ^
the doc:
the doc: *whistles*
the doc: Ah well, off I go as well then
Rayanne Graff: Sorry, Stu; i was busy tidying things. xx

 

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