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Delirium Tremens

| 1,875 posts


24th Apr 2011 at 12:03 am

Delirium Tremens -

 
I'm looking for some non-constructive criticism here, can someone tell me if this single verse, written for the girl's birthday card is unspeakably soppy, cliched and gay (not the good kind of gay)? I suspect they are, but I also feel like they're the kind of thing a birthday card wants.

Stroll by
The sweet smell of heather
And sigh
As it floats away
To blue skies
In warmest of weather
We fly
When the scent stays

Rayanne Graff

| 49,798 posts


24th Apr 2011 at 12:06 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
i don't think it's soppy; i think it's good and poignant.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Delirium Tremens

| 1,875 posts


24th Apr 2011 at 6:02 pm

Delirium Tremens -

 
Thank you

Steve-Dave

| 10,836 posts


24th Apr 2011 at 7:39 pm

Steve-Dave -

 
Quote: Delirium Tremens, Apr 2011
I'm looking for some non-constructive criticism here, can someone tell me if this single verse, written for the girl's birthday card is unspeakably soppy, cliched and gay (not the good kind of gay)? I suspect they are, but I also feel like they're the kind of thing a birthday card wants.

Stroll by
The sweet smell of heather
And sigh
As it floats away
To blue skies
In warmest of weather
We fly
When the scent stays


Marry Civil Partnership Me
There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Delirium Tremens

| 1,875 posts


24th Apr 2011 at 8:47 pm

Delirium Tremens -

 
Quote: I C*nt Spell, Apr 2011
It's not soppy, it's romantic.

When are you going to write about being a drunken bum?


Tis an epic novel, my dear girl, writ large across the names and reputations of the capital's finest public houses, using the enflamed passions of the comely harlots therein as my very pen, & it is one I never intend to complete.


 
 
Steve-Dave: Better the devil you know, though. How many of the sensible people would ever vote for Romney?
Walt Flanagan: They're going to be non-votes, not votes for Barack.
Steve-Dave: I doubt it. I'd say that with some of the stuff Romney will come out, people could vote Barack just to prevent Romney getting in.
Walt Flanagan: Well, he's so clearly a terrible human being.
Walt Flanagan: He's going to gaff his way out of the White House, even as the President is hated from all the sides of the spectrum that aren't starry eyed.
Walt Flanagan: The GOP has gone too far towards the Stupid Bigot side of things, it may take years to get back.
Walt Flanagan: I just think people who say that Obama would have to f*ck a white woman on television to not get elected are missing the danger.
Steve-Dave: Oh I think Romney will still give Obama a run for his money. Romney flip-flops a lot. Could appeal to a wide enough base overall to run it close
oatibix: Something's happened here.
Steve-Dave: This is what happens when you leave Colin.
Steve-Dave: And I don't mean "This is what happens when you leave, Colin", I mean this is what happens when you leave Colin. I left Colin and became all sensible and sh*t
Steve-Dave: I'm an equivocating motherf*cker
Rayanne Graff: Yeah, you're sh*t. i'm not sure about sensible, though.
Jimmy: Holy sh*t everything's Barry.
Steve-Dave: Everything's better!
Puffalump: Barrier
Steve-Dave: The Barryest it's ever been
Jimmy: I can't wait for more "Important Barry and changes"
Steve-Dave: Well there will be some Barry and changes coming soon, because we need more donations. It no longer just takes £10 a year to help Barry survive
Steve-Dave: It takes like... £13

 

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