8^th September 2010, 12:29 am

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Barry's Jokes

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I Am The Walrus

| 9,244 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 9:41 am

When I was a child, my parents got a divorce and my brother and I got seperated. This left a huge hole in my heart. We were conjoined twins

I got a massage the other day. Afterwards, the masseuse asked me if I wanted a happy ending, so I said yes. She killed a dragon and restored peace to my village.

I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting last night. The first guy stood up and said "I'm Steve, and I'm an alcoholic". I thought to myself "Do flying fish have fins or wings? Or fings? Is that where fish fingers come from?". I was still drunk.

I bought a Muhammad Ali Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine last week. It's better than the George Foreman one, but it shakes a lot more

Barrington SMASH: SMASHing through life... politely

I Am The Walrus

| 9,244 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 9:47 am

I watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon last night. Those Dragons are well hidden

Barrington SMASH: SMASHing through life... politely

I Am The Walrus

| 9,244 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 10:13 am

I met the Jigsaw Killer from Saw outside a playground last night. He said "Did you see Saw?". I said "No, I was just on the swings for a while"

Barrington SMASH: SMASHing through life... politely

Jewbacca

| 6,705 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 10:52 am

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

THESE JOKES ARE BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

I Am The Walrus

| 9,244 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 10:55 am

They're MY jokes. What more do you expect?

Barrington SMASH: SMASHing through life... politely

Jewbacca

| 6,705 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 11:01 am

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

I've got a joke for you while you're here. What did Jim say when someone stepped on his toe?

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

I Am The Walrus

| 9,244 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 11:04 am

Quote: Sue Sylvester, Mar 2010

I've got a joke for you while you're here. What did Jim say when someone stepped on his toe?

Ow! You stupid f*cking c*ntnugget!

Barrington SMASH: SMASHing through life... politely

Jewbacca

| 6,705 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 11:21 am

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

Quote: Paddy Irishman, Mar 2010

Quote: Sue Sylvester, Mar 2010
I've got a joke for you while you're here. What did Jim say when someone stepped on his toe?

Ow! You stupid f*cking c*ntnugget!

Close, but no cigar

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Albi The Racist Dragon

| 7,404 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 10:11 pm

Quote: Paddy Irishman, Mar 2010

I got a massage the other day. Afterwards, the masseuse asked me if I wanted a happy ending, so I said yes. She killed a dragon and restored peace to my village.

Actually lol'd.

[http://card.mygamercard.net/gbar/joelsaysyeah.gif]

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/698876.jpg]

wombat

| 7,880 posts

20^th Mar 2010 at 12:44 pm

Technically sexy.

I disagree with Martin.

Southern hemispherical rat boy

I Am The Walrus

| 9,244 posts

20^th Mar 2010 at 4:02 pm

Quote: wombat, Mar 2010

I disagree with Martin.

He's just jealous. Like a guy with no Brylcreem

Barrington SMASH: SMASHing through life... politely

I Am The Walrus

| 9,244 posts

21^st Mar 2010 at 6:08 pm

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's just hard to tell because apiarists wear those big facemasks

Barrington SMASH: SMASHing through life... politely

Jamie McDonald

| 6,697 posts

21^st Mar 2010 at 6:13 pm

Ey, Poxbridge! Hey dickhead, Happy New Queer!

The only joke I've ever written was by mistake and hugely racist so I can't even tell anyone it.

I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter

I Am The Walrus

| 9,244 posts

21^st Mar 2010 at 6:18 pm

Quote: Abacus, Mar 2010

The only joke I've ever written was by mistake and hugely racist so I can't even tell anyone it.

Just replace any racist terms with the word 'banana'. Like I did with this one:

I saw a monkey throwing a banana at another monkey. It reminded me of a banana throwing a banana at another banana

Barrington SMASH: SMASHing through life... politely

Jamie McDonald

| 6,697 posts

21^st Mar 2010 at 6:21 pm

Ey, Poxbridge! Hey dickhead, Happy New Queer!

If you accidentally make up a racist joke does that make you racist? I'm pretty sure I'm not racist but maybe I am. I'm exactly the sort of person who'd be racist and not even realise it...

...It's ok, VR, don't fear, I just had full sex with a black man, so I can't be gay.

I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter

Captain Stupendo: snarf

Jewbacca:

Toothless: this is the boy who cried wolf, too many times before, too many times before...

Bob Flapper: I used to cry wolf all the time. That is, untill Wolf from Gladiators beat me into a bloody pulp and noone would come to my aid.

Jamie McDonald: Chris wears pantaloons made from cider icecubes and panache

I Am The Walrus: OH MY GOD IT'S MEMMERICH'S BIRTHDAY!

I Am The Walrus: 25th of August! How could I have forgotten?

I Am The Walrus: Quick, everybody keep doing what you're doing!

Rayanne Graff: ... in the pants department.

I Am The Walrus: You're like a Pants Department Ninja lately Straws

Rayanne Graff: Yeah, i s'pose i am.

Alec: Shoutbox

Alec: Your are too quiet,

Alec: like a quietbox

Alec: be more like Earl Wyatt

Rayanne Graff: (Bye, peace to small trees.)

Alec: Something's wrong with the banner up top. The quote is now outside the green blob.

Rayanne Graff: There's nothing wrong with mine; maybe it's summat to do with your computer.

Resident Death: Change your browser...

Bob Flapper: My browser changed me

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