7^th February 2012, 10:14 pm

Forum Gallery Archives Members

Every time you put up your hand, there's an element of danger

Barry's Jokes

Posted In: Spam. Reading This Thread:

Penn

| 10,655 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 8:41 am

When I was a child, my parents got a divorce and my brother and I got seperated. This left a huge hole in my heart. We were conjoined twins

I got a massage the other day. Afterwards, the masseuse asked me if I wanted a happy ending, so I said yes. She killed a dragon and restored peace to my village.

I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting last night. The first guy stood up and said "I'm Steve, and I'm an alcoholic". I thought to myself "Do flying fish have fins or wings? Or fings? Is that where fish fingers come from?". I was still drunk.

I bought a Muhammad Ali Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine last week. It's better than the George Foreman one, but it shakes a lot more

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Penn

| 10,655 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 8:47 am

I watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon last night. Those Dragons are well hidden

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Penn

| 10,655 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 9:13 am

I met the Jigsaw Killer from Saw outside a playground last night. He said "Did you see Saw?". I said "No, I was just on the swings for a while"

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Jewbacca

| 6,720 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 9:52 am

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

THESE JOKES ARE BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Penn

| 10,655 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 9:55 am

They're MY jokes. What more do you expect?

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Jewbacca

| 6,720 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 10:01 am

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

I've got a joke for you while you're here. What did Jim say when someone stepped on his toe?

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Penn

| 10,655 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 10:04 am

Quote: Sue Sylvester, Mar 2010

I've got a joke for you while you're here. What did Jim say when someone stepped on his toe?

Ow! You stupid f*cking c*ntnugget!

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Jewbacca

| 6,720 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 10:21 am

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

Quote: Paddy Irishman, Mar 2010

Quote: Sue Sylvester, Mar 2010
I've got a joke for you while you're here. What did Jim say when someone stepped on his toe?

Ow! You stupid f*cking c*ntnugget!

Close, but no cigar

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Albi The Racist Dragon

| 7,432 posts

19^th Mar 2010 at 9:11 pm

Quote: Paddy Irishman, Mar 2010

I got a massage the other day. Afterwards, the masseuse asked me if I wanted a happy ending, so I said yes. She killed a dragon and restored peace to my village.

Actually lol'd.

[http://card.mygamercard.net/gbar/joelsaysyeah.gif]

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/698876.jpg]

wombat

| 8,147 posts

20^th Mar 2010 at 11:44 am

Technically sexy.

I disagree with Martin.

Southern hemispherical rat boy

Penn

| 10,655 posts

20^th Mar 2010 at 3:02 pm

Quote: wombat, Mar 2010

I disagree with Martin.

He's just jealous. Like a guy with no Brylcreem

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Penn

| 10,655 posts

21^st Mar 2010 at 5:08 pm

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's just hard to tell because apiarists wear those big facemasks

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Lord Havelock Vetinari

| 6,764 posts

21^st Mar 2010 at 5:13 pm

Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

The only joke I've ever written was by mistake and hugely racist so I can't even tell anyone it.

I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter

Penn

| 10,655 posts

21^st Mar 2010 at 5:18 pm

Quote: Abacus, Mar 2010

The only joke I've ever written was by mistake and hugely racist so I can't even tell anyone it.

Just replace any racist terms with the word 'banana'. Like I did with this one:

I saw a monkey throwing a banana at another monkey. It reminded me of a banana throwing a banana at another banana

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and 9 other different types of people

Lord Havelock Vetinari

| 6,764 posts

21^st Mar 2010 at 5:21 pm

Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

If you accidentally make up a racist joke does that make you racist? I'm pretty sure I'm not racist but maybe I am. I'm exactly the sort of person who'd be racist and not even realise it...

...It's ok, VR, don't fear, I just had full sex with a black man, so I can't be gay.

I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter

the doc:

Rayanne Graff: His name is George. Also, he started Spam.

Rayanne Graff: i spoke to him a couple of times and that was in October of 2009.

the doc: Wow, a proper old head

Rayanne Graff: Yeah, he was the 15th person to join.

satansrubberduck: I didn't directly start Spam. Also the proof of that long since disappeared.

Rayanne Graff: No, it didn't; the Spam spam spam you made in 2002 is on page 105 of the Spam board.

satansrubberduck: Oh. I looked for it years ago and couldn't find it. The colour tags are (thankfully) broken.

satansrubberduck: Odd to think it's been over a decade since I first got involved with 'Zine.

Claire: It's not odd to me since I've just had the exact same conversation with you...

I Cunt Spell: YOU'RE ALL OLD

I Cunt Spell: SO VERY VERY OLD

Captain Stupendo: SRD made an appearence holy moly haven't seen him on here for years

Maeby: JIM!

the doc: Wow, event Starws isn't here tonight

the doc: Straws ^

the doc:

the doc: *whistles*

the doc: Ah well, off I go as well then

Rayanne Graff: Sorry, Stu; i was busy tidying things. xx

Page: